Since today is all about Valentine’s Day and love in general, I thought what better day to talk about love. Not that I don’t talk about whatever I want anyway. It’s my blog so I generally get to do what I want, so there.
But, love is the theme today. True love if we want to get right down to it. True love is complicated on so many levels I don’t even know where to start. Hasn’t stopped me before, so why should it now. Media has given us such a skewed ideal when it comes to love that most people screw it up when love is on the table. Being a romance novelist, I’m somewhat hypocritical for even talking on this subject. Most of all, we paint a picture of love and what should come after that reality can never hope to compete against it.
What is love? Love isn’t the hot and heavy infatuation most people seem to think of as love. It’s not the flames of lust that follow. No infatuation fades or grows into love. Lust isn’t even fit to be considered an emotion. At best it’s an animalistic need. Not saying I have been or ever will be immune to the two because the capacity to love never fades. It expands to include the people who cross your path as you march onward toward whatever awaits you at the blessed end.
So let’s move onto the meat of this blog and the forms of love I think deserve a place at Valentine’s Day’s table.
The purest form of true love is the unconditional bond of love between a child and their parent. I have literally been brought to tears watching my daughter and grandson together. We seldom remember those fragile first years of our lives, but seeing them together gave me a view into how it must have been. As life grows old that bond changes into something different, but in the magic of their young lives we get to become their first valentines. We put their carefully cut out hearts on our fridges with magnets with pride and undying love. Just thinking about it makes me all sniffly. Give me a minute here and move to the next paragraph. Anybody got a tissue or wet nap?
Move it on people! Nothing to see here. Do it now! Don’t mess with emotional authors or you become a corpse in chapter three.
Everyone goes on and on about true love. True love exists but I’m not ready to talk about it just yet, so let’s get back to friends. Over the years I’ve had many acquaintances, but very few true friends. I gather maybe two or so a decade, but when we meet the connection is instant, like finding a part of yourself you never knew you’d lost. Family you are born into — friends are blood without the genetics getting in the way. Who are the first people we turn to when we’ve had crappy days? Our besties. This is where I get a bit out there. People go on and on about soul mates and true love. Sometimes it isn’t about true love but a true and lasting friend. Lovers keep secrets. Friends don’t know the meaning of the word. So when you’re celebrating the day of love, don’t forget those friends who boost you up when you’re sad. Share the joy of everyday living. Grow old with you in ways you can only post memes about on Facebook.
Finally, we get to ”it”. By it, I mean true love. True love is the hardest thing to get a grip on. For one thing, it’s a miracle. Imagine two people finding each other amidst all the billions of wrong combinations out there. If there was a word that meant more than miraculous that’d be what this is. But, what makes true love a viable description for L-O-V-E? Hard work. Love might just happen from a glance and pheromone production but lasting love takes hard work. That’s why true love isn’t for sissies.
My wife and I have spent the last 18 Valentine’s Days together. How have we made the mystical Happily Ever After work? I’m going to be totally honest with you. Happily ever anything isn’t an everyday thing. It is the accumulation of bad days, good days, sad days, and some days that just quite frankly scare the merde out of you. Sorry about the French but it’s the truth. Love is living through life and never giving up on this fragment of perfection we call love.
In today’s throwaway-satisfaction-now world, if things get rough, staying in one piece just doesn’t figure into the equation. So, true love is forgotten in favor of living in the moment. That is sad. When life comes to an end, I wouldn’t trade my lifetime for a million scattered moments. Why? Because my true love is priceless.
I think that’s about all that needs to be said. Well, this too. I wish for each of you a lifetime of true love.
For those of you who say nobody loves you, know that you are loved. Someone cares and cherishes you.
Even if it is just me, J. Morgan, romance novelist and incurable romantic at heart.
Happy Valentine’s Day and Happy Reading!