Is this thing on?
Well, I guess it is. Who am I? I think the important question is who the heck are you, and why did I just get freaking edited! Excuse me for a minute…
Jmo, when I agreed to do this flipping blog thing, you told me I’d have complete creative control. Well, does having you edit every frog smunching thing I type sound like complete control to you? And, what the freckling dog smack is frog smunching?
Stud, when I asked you to come on the Giggles to announce that Wednesday is going to be my attempt to open up the blog to new things you told me you had your Tourette Syndrome under control.
I lied. Now, sit in your recliner and dream of bacon and Princess Leia, you geeky washcloth.
Now, where was I? Oh yes, for you folks unfamiliar with fine literature, my name is Stud Lee Monkey, star of Mis-Staked, the valiant story of a Chimp and his vampire slaying virgin. Don’t ask me about the virgin bit. Breathred assures me it’s a lifestyle choice. The point is he almost slays vampires, and I tag along to make his life hell. Think of it as a comedic symbiotic relationship neither of us really wants. But, if you want my life story go buy the freaking book. Shesh, bananas and internet porn don’t pay for themselves. My cut of the book barely pays for one banana, and I have to steal internet like ninety percent of the world. All I got to say is thank you Mickey D’s for free WiFi.
But, I digress. J. Morgan is giving me an extra three percent to come on here and tell you about his new blog idea. Blah blah blah. Let me get on with that before Duck Dynasty comes on. I just love watching nature shows about rednecks in their natural environment.
Whacked Out Wednesday! is about giving all those voices living inside an author’s head their time to shine. Sure, they got whole books, but let me be quite frank, authors tend to screw it up. We literary giants never get to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, because our biographers put their own twist on things. In addition to that, coming to Wednesday will also be guest bloggers, snippets from WiPs, or just basically a rehash of what he’s already doing on Sunday. So, more or less starting this week, Jmo is going to let his brain children run off at the mouth. Well, according to this little memo Geek-boy just handed me, he’s handing over the duties next week. The lazy son of a biscuit eater.
What?! Another memo! Can’t you just send this crap to my iPhone?
Okay, starting this week, guest author Jennifer Hartz, the amazing author of Future Savior, and Heroes of the Horde will be allowing her main character from Future Savior visit. That smacks of promo to this evolved chimp, but hey, they got to get it from somewhere.
Stud, just read from the script!
We don’t need no stinking script!
Okay, I have been insulted enough for one night. Before I jump in my limo to head back to Breathred’s dad’s basement, don’t forget to rush out and buy a copy of Mis-Staked available from Champagne Books in ebook and print. Before you ask, I don’t give autographs. You can pay for them at ComiCon like everyone else.
Night folks, and whatever you do, don’t name it after me.
Stud Lee Monkey, esq.
Some buy links cuz I really need that extra three percent