Well, I’m still here!
You’d have thought someone would have heard a guy screaming his head off that he was handcuffed to a chair in a cheap motel. Between you and me, I get the idea they get that a lot in this joint. Oh, well, it’s not like I had anything better to do, and Jenn prob appreciated a night free of Clone Wars marathons. Least one of kidnappers could have done was put the TV on and left me the remote. Something to do to make the time pass, because counting cockroaches had gotten old about the second I started doing it. If the clock on the wall was right, whoever was supposed to show up to bust my whatevers should be here any minute. The sun would be up soon, and I’d be the surprise of some maid’s life. Then again, like I said, this place probably got stuff like this a lot.
My head began a sleep filled nod, when I heard the door open. Cracking my eyes open to a slit — because that was exactly what one of my characters would do — I saw a hulk of a man block out the light filtering in from the parking lot. Luckily for me, I recognized this hulk.
Jmo: Chase? What are you doing here? I barely even cracked a joke in Immortally Yours.
Chase: I am well aware of that fact, my friend. Your chronicling of Belle’s and my story was well crafted and a delight to read.
Jmo: Then, why are you here?
Chase: I come as an escort only. The Inspirations would have words with you. Because of our friendship, I came to insure that they dealt fairly with you. They can be quite vicious when they feel that one under their sway is acting against the contract that binds them to the Creative.
Jmo: My muse? My muse is hacked off at me?
Chase: It would appear to be so.
Crap on a biscuit! This was bad.
A flash of light filled the room cutting off the rest of my mental breakdown. When the radiance dropped back to a notch that didn’t blind me, I wished it had.
Muse: Close, tiger, but no Oreo. Nope, it’s just me Princes Harley River Farrah Organa Bofinia Mofina Jofina something something. I forget the rest, but you get the idea. I’m the slave you force to help you write that pop culture driven drivel. Blech.
Jmo: Then, why do you look like my wife?
Princess Harley: Because, she’s your greatest inspiration, silly duck. Without her, you’d probably still be drawing comics in your grandparents’ spare room and playing with your Star Wars action figures til the wee hours of the morning. Instead, of just collecting the damn things and leaving them mint in box. You need help my friend. Serious help.
Jmo: Yeah, I get that a lot. It still doesn’t explain why you’re here. It’s not like I overwork you. You have the days off. I have the snacks you requested in our contract on hand. You even get three weeks vacation, plus the time you just disappear on me for no apparent reason.
Princess Harley: That isn’t the point, ducky. I can only be funny so much. We need to cut our teeth on something more substantial. Seriously, how many Star Wars derived in-jokes can you expect me to toss out there?
Jmo: Hey, we wrote Immortally Yours and Immortally Damned. They were both serious books. We just finished Scrolls of Eternity: Rebirth. That wasn’t that funny. We’re branching out of my comfort zone.
Princess Harley: True, but you’re slow about it. I got into this business to be listed as one of the muses of the greats. Faulkner, Steinbeck, Jackie Collins. Instead, I got you, Mr. Romance from the Funny Bone.
Jmo: That hurts. You’ve been there since book one. Comedy is hard! I know it doesn’t seem important to you, but what we write makes people smile. It makes them happy and for a short span it makes them forget their troubles. People need that every once in awhile. Life is hard. It’s a constant battle to pay bills, put food on the table and every once in awhile to treat yourself to something special. Nowadays, all those things are getting harder and harder to do. So, when a reader buys one of our books, they’re looking for just that escape. If you can’t appreciate that fact, maybe I need a new muse.
Princess Harley: Okay, okay. No reason to get all huffy about it. I didn’t say I wanted to quit.
Jmo: Then, what do you want?
Princess Harley: For one thing, I’m tired of changing bodies every book. Do your friends know how you steal them and plop them in your books? I could list them, but we’d be here all day.
Jmo: Yes, they know. I ask them first. I don’t steal them. I borrow them. Besides, for me to love my characters, I need to know them. My friends are the greatest part of my life. They inspire me on a daily basis. Without them, I truly doubt I could write a word.
Princess Harley: Then, what do you need me for?
Jmo: You make me better than I’d be otherwise. We’re a team. You help me make the books real. Make them come alive. I’m just the guy at the keyboard.
Princess Harley: Good answer.
Jmo: So, we’re good?
Princess Harley: For the time being. You just better make sure those Oreos keep rolling, or there’s going to be trouble.
Jmo: You got it.
Princess Harley: Good deal. Oh, before I go. I’ll be needing the entire month of June off. No, reason. I just don’t feel like working. If you got a problem with it take it up with my union rep, Jeni Sai Qua. I’m outta here. Chase, once I blinky winky, you can let him go.
And, she did.
Chase: I guess we’re done here. Best be getting back, too. Belle has big plans and hates it when I’m late. Jmo, try to keep them happy. Otherwise, Jeni Sai Qua will come herself, and believe me you don’t want that.
Jmo: I’ll try my best.
Chase: See that you do. Your car’s parked out front.
With that, he freed me and walked into nothingness. Alone with my thoughts, only one thing kept rolling around in my head. I really had to stop eating Double Stuf Bacon Oreos before I went to bed.
Thanks, for sticking around for the past three weeks while I was held hostage. You know you could have saved yourself a lot of reading if you’d just let me go! You must have liked it, otherwise, you wouldn’t have stuck around. Next week, I promise things will get back to normal. Then again, normal for this place, really isn’t that normal.
Have a great week, and happy reading,
Now, where did they put my car keys? Never trust a muse!